Empower Yourself
I remember when Monica Lewinsky became the modern version of Hester Prynne. I remember feeling sorry for her, and hating Linda Tripp for being such a dishonest friend. But honestly, the scandal between Lewinsky and Clinton didn't bother me one bit; what consenting adults do is no concern of the public's, in my opinion. Then, I never really thought about her again after the scandal died down.
Last week, The Guardian published "The Shame Sticks To You Like Tar," about Lewinsky's life post-Clinton, and what she has done to wrest some control of her life. It is a great read, and I highly recommend it, because it is sad, inspiring, depressing, uplifting, and promising. "Lewinsky was once among the 20th century’s most humiliated people, ridiculed across the world. Now she’s a respected and perceptive anti-bullying advocate. She gives talks at Facebook, and at business conferences, on how to make the internet more compassionate. She helps out at anti-bullying organisations like Bystander Revolution, a site that offers video advice on what to do if you’re afraid to go to school, or if you’re a victim of cyberbullying." Lewinsky's life is a perfect example of finding yourself in a wasteland, feeling the victim, seeing no way out, then finding the path, painful though it is, back to some semblance of normal. Because of her efforts against cyberbullying, the Guardian interviewed her, and one of the most honest things she said was in response to how she would be treated had the scandal occurred today. The journalist suggested that people would not be so quick to condemn her since we have been made aware of slut-shaming and putting women down. And people are much more concerned with misogyny against women that the men perpetrating it would be called out. Lewinsky responded: “A lot of vicious things that happen online to women and minorities do happen at the hands of men,” she says, “but they also happen at the hands of women. Women are not immune to misogyny.” Lewinsky is spot on. As much as many of us wrap ourselves in the mantle of feminism and call for equal rights, there is an astonishing number of studies that show women don't always walk the walk. For example, a 2013 study showed that women prefer working for male bosses by a 13% margin; in 2014, Wired Magazine ran an article detailing how women and men are virtually equal in their use of misogynist terms on Twitter; and another 2013 study determined that promiscuous women receive plenty of criticism from other women, even other promiscuous women. Lewinsky would know about misogyny. It was a woman friend who betrayed her, she was reviled by men and women alike, and comics, male and female, felt no compunction about using her pain and suffering for their own advantage. She has commented that feminists were particularly cruel to her. Today, Lewinsky has been referred to as the first person to be destroyed by the Internet. But she has found a way to overcome the bullying she faced as a child and as an adult by becoming the spokesperson, so to speak, against cyberbullying. Her Ted Talk has had nearly 8 million views, and she speaks regularly about her ordeal in order to help others find their own way through their difficulties and shaming. It is so horrible to read about what that poor woman went through. It is so sad to see how a young woman of 22 was abandoned when the country's most powerful people used her for their own political advantage. But it is truly inspiring to read about the strength that woman found, eventually, to stand up to the shame she was burdened with, and address the issues that hurt her most so that others can find ways of escaping their pain and shame.
2 Comments
Sue Frost
4/25/2016 10:50:34 am
I have so much to say about this issue and perhaps not enough time to say it eloquently. I commend Ms. Lewinsky on her strength. People can be cruel, both men and women. Part of it may be judgement, and, perhaps, part is separating themselves from the act of immoral behavior (adultery in this case). People lie, cheat on their taxes, pay people off the books, and the list goes on. Even though so many are guilty of these "sins", we are a very unforgiving society. I remember thinking back in the day, she is a 21 or 22 year old girl and he is the PRESIDENT! And, I'll admit from a distance the man seemed like a pretty charismatic guy. Would is be easy to get caught of in the wrong type of attention? Later, while I was trying to climb the ranks professionally, hiring people, and ensuring adherence to labor laws, etc., I thought - She was an INTERN for goodness sake! Trusting an an organization, the White House, to have a professional learning experience. YET, the world pinned a red letter on HER. As for the current awareness of bullying, we have a long way to go. I heard an interview with Donald Trump days ago, (yes, I'm considering the source). He thought it was fair game to bring up of the Lewinsky/Clinton extramarital affair all these years later as a campaign tactic of some sort. Just throw it out as an attack on Hilary Clinton's character. So, after all these years of trying to move on with her life, not only does Lewinsky gets thrown back in the mud, but, depending on how you look at it, Hilary Clinton, the once betrayed gets thrown in too. While Trump continues to lead the Republican party, and his supporters proudly cheer him on. What year is this? And, I don't believe in throwing stones - really. But, one wonders how his character would hold up if scrutinized or doesn't that matter for men?
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Linda
4/25/2016 05:24:38 pm
Sue, I remember at the time all the condemnation that Hillary Clinton faced when she didn't leave Bill Clinton. And that came from conservatives, too. I think it showed her strong character to not succumb to her knee-jerk response and kick him out; rather to face the issue head on and work out their problems. I mean, you do take a vow to that effect when you get married. I am not condemning anyone who does divorce. Divorce is definitely an option that I am happy people have. But it should be between the two people involved in the marriage and no one else.
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AuthorI am a yoga instructor, author and activist. I wrote The Diamond Tree to inspire women to take chances. Even if the outcome of any given risk is different than expected, there is something for the community and the individual to gain from it. Archives
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